Tuesday, December 31, 2013

December 30, 2013

On December 26, 2013 I woke up at six o clock, put on my sweats and tiger shirt and I went running. At six thirty I arrived at the gym worked on the “guns” and returned home, showered, drank some creatine, and got ready for the day. I put on my favorite blue pants and brown shoes, I tied my tie the usual way, and I studied the most correct book of all the books for a good hour. I studied “preach my gospel” with my comp, and then I worked with him on his workbook called, "the first twelve weeks". We then went out and worked. We knocked on doors and yelled “buenas,” hahaha, 
So…probably the worst way to wake up if you aren't a member of our church would be to 2 young men outside your door knocking and then telling you about how you need to change your lives and the blessings to come a long with that change. We get shut down a lot but, they're nice and they lie to us. Anyways we then went to lunch. It was the same thing for lunch that we have every day; rice, beans, and corn tortillas. Oh yeah how could I forget the soda! hahaha I think I have had soda every day since I got here. It's sooooo good for your body and makes you feel super good and energetic for about thirty seconds. Anyways, we had appointments fall through, just like every other day, but we kept walking along knocking on doors!  We then ate dinner and came home! We did our planning and I was getting ready for bed, thinking about the mission, my family, and the girl! hahaha pathetic....It’s the same story everyday but tonight ended differently. I thought to myself, gosh two years but, then I realized wait, Elder Hansgen, “how long have you been out?” Wow you have been out sixth months today!!!!! I had forgotten my anniversary! Geez Louise! I hopped out of bed got everyone else out of bed and said, "guys this literally sucks....I am a fourth of the way done with my mission....." I didn't actually say that, I said it in Spanish but, the people reading this don't speak Spanish! Anyways, I got a tie out, coated it with medical alcohol and hand sanitizer and well the rest is history.

I thought long and hard that night and tossed and turned a bunch! I still can't believe it and refuse to believe it. (SIX MONTHS already?) To be honest it has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, twists and turns. I don't feel like I have been the one controlling any of it. I don't know if I'm being an instrument in the Lords hands or if I just need to figure it out and take control. I guess my own conversion has been pretty successful, and like I have said in other letters that I do have a testimony and I will not be falling back into my stupid old ways. 
But, I realized something…”I can’t save them all.” 

Depressing, I know. But at the same time I just felt the Holy Ghost give me a huge old hug. Just a wave of peace joy and happiness came over me. It’s an experience that I can’t explain with words and at the same time I don't want to. I want everyone to feel it for themselves.
I know that one day I'm going to die. And I am completely fine with that and actually look forward to it. Can’t wait until I am actually home again! 
People are preparing for me and I feel as if I am working hard to find every one of those people.
Every single person I have come in contact with has forever changed my life and has taught me what I need to know. 
Like I told my family while I was Skyping them on Christmas day, I have learned so much. I tried to explain to them what I was feeling but it probably didn't make any sense because of the tears and the snot that were going on. My mind was filled with so many things that I have learned.
I'm scared for people that don't have the faith and hope that I have found out here. I have found that great and marvelous, beautiful and sacred connection with the heavens and the earth. I know it’s bad out there... there is sin, Satan is real, and bad things happen to good people. No one said it would be easy, but it will definitely be worth it. I have learned out here that pain, afflictions, temptations, long suffering, stress is part of this world. We at one point, well at multiple points in our lives make the wrong decisions. And that's OK. The only way we can be perfect is doing what is right, intending to do everything right, enduring all things, following the Savior’s example, REPENTING, and always taking the Sacrament with the right attitude and realizing and using the power of it.
Now I'm not a perfect person but, it’s one of my biggest goals in life. 
One year i made a New Year’s resolution to be perfect. I now have decided to put it on my list every year from now until I die!
Make some resolutions to better your eternity. 
I share with you all these things and more, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Elder Hansgen
1. Be perfect
2. Make someone smile everyday
3. Articles of Faith memorized in Spanish
4. Be fluent in the language

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